Cigarette???? My butt!

People making planes can have quite a sense of humor.  As I walked to the toilet in a BA flight, I could not stop but laugh at the big sign that said ‘No Smoking in the Toilet’ placed very conveniently right next to a cigarette disposal tray.  Is this i-rony or i-funny?

                                                  Toilet inside the British Airways Flight from London to Seattle

I think my sense of humor is no less when it comes to this specific topic of smoking. A few years ago during college, I got a call from a friend who needed me to give a ride to one of his friend’s friend urgently so that person doesn’t end up missing his flight. Being the only one with a car in my circle and being the nice person that I generally am, I said, “Sure!” I picked up this absolute stranger & started driving to the airport. Half way through, the guy suddenly rolled down the window, took out a cigarette from his pocket and while just about to strike the lighter, politely asked, “Is it okay if I smoke?” Once again being the nice person that I am, I said, “Sure!” And right at that moment, I pulled over to the side of the road, unlocked the car, and politely said, “You can get off here and do whatever the hell you want to do. And oh, figure out a way to get to the airport by yourself.” I think he got the idea. Back went the cigarette and the lighter in his pocket and off went the car driving towards the airport again.

If you are a smoker regardless of your smoking frequency, I feel sad for you. Did you know that there is a 69% chance that you will die before the age of 65? A 95% chance that your lips will turn black, your teeth yellow, you will go bald, get wrinkles, have bad breath, get gum disease and develop a disgusting raspy voice? There is also a 85% chance that you will develop cancer in your lungs/mouth/throat/reproductive organs ,  81% chance that you will get diabetes especially if any one or both of your parents have diabetes and 75% chance that you will get a stroke and at least three heart attacks in your life? In addition, 89% chances are that you will suffer from stress, anxiety and severe depression, a 78% chance that you will have hard time remembering things, have memory loss, be irritated & agitated at all times for no reason and become a suspicious personality with trust issues. Not to mention, there is a 73% chance that you will become verbally/physically abusive towards your partner, 93% chance that you will suffer from anger management, and 67% chance that you will have few friends & become an isolated loner. Thanks to you, your kids will have a 76% chance of receiving your smoking gene & may suffer from any of the above mentioned problems at an even earlier age than you did whether or not they become smokers. However, you might not have kids at all because one fact that most of you might be unaware of is that smoking means there is a 90% chance that you will lose your sexual desires and eventually become impotent.

Last but not the least, here is a statistic from my own personal belief – if you smoke, there is a 100% chance that the always missing person you become with a stinky smell, unhealthy lifestyle, misbehaving attitude, unstable mind, and a non-reliable & unpredictable personality will lead your relationships to turn sour and your partner will eventually leave you.

Quit smoking, not life!